Back in Seminary…



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A couple months ago I graduated from Drew Theological Seminary in Madison, NJ.  It took me 4 years but I managed to get a Masters in Divinity.  Its amazing how little I learned about God while there.  Maybe because I didn’t really respect the spirituality of the professors, or maybe because you can’t really learn about God from a scholastic setting.

Now I’m back in Seminary; not in another learning institution per se, but sitting in the school of life.  This “semester” I’m sitting in the adult Oncology ward as my 26 year old newlywed wife receives chemotherapy.  About 2 months ago she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Primary Cardiac Angiosarcoma, a very rare and very malignant type of cancer that begins in the heart.

Initially, the prognosis was ridiculously grim.  Although the usual prognosis with this specific cancer is death within 6 months of diagnosis, I was told by the Oncology team that my wife’s strain was particularly aggressive and she “wouldn’t last that long.”  Those words hit me like a Mack truck and in the process as my wife was fighting for her life, I was fighting to keep the faith.

My struggle now was not with a Sovereign God or His will for us to be here now.  God is God, and I am not.  His will is perfect and mine is not.  His knowledge is infinite and mine is not.  The struggle was to Trust God with absolutely no reassurance whatsoever that the nightmare we were facing was going to turn out for our good. Every indication at first was that I was going to be burying my wife before her 27th birthday in December.

Things have changed.

Not only has she progressed, but her last MRI showed that the tumor has shrunk significantly more than our doctors could have hoped for.  One of the nurses from the Heart unit called me to tell me that my wife’s doctor, the Chief of Oncology with over 30 years of experience began to well up with tears of joy when saw her latest MRI because he’s never seen progress like this before.  Now, the doctors are cautiously optimistic that the next MRI will show that she’s in remission.

God is God, I am not.  God’s wisdom is infinite, mine is not.  I’ve grown closer to God in these last couple months than I have in the last 10 years combined and for that I am eternally grateful.  I can’t tell you what the future will hold, but for today I’m trusting God…

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11 Responses to “Back in Seminary…”

  1. Sharif L Washington says:

    There are always reminders in day-to-day life, small or large, that remind us how good GOD truly is. I thank you for sharing your story of struggle and growth in GOD because only he knows how much I needed to read this right now. I am a believer and everyday that I live GOD sends me little reminders to restore my faith. Especially when my enthusiasm for GOD may seem lackluster in HIS eyes. It is one thing know GOD, but it is that much more important to trust in HIM. Thank you again for posting this Jordan and we will continue our daily prayers for Danielle.

  2. Joseph Banda says:

    Let the blessings continue Jordan. Wishing your family that wish shines from above.

  3. Dad says:

    We all ask “why Danielle”? Maybe we should also ask why Mary, Moses, Daniel & Shradach etc. Now I see a duel ministry beginning. The answer to the initial question is Danielle blessed and is a blessing to all that know her. Your story fortifies and uplifts my Faith!

  4. Mom says:

    Jordan, you and Danielle have exhibited incredible faith during this ordeal; your faith and trust in the Lord have never wavered, even when the news was grim.
    We are now witnessing a miraculous blessing; by His stripes, Danielle is receiving her healing! I am looking forward to proclaiming to all our prayer partners that the healing is complete and every particle of the cancer has vanished!
    Thank God!

  5. Marissa says:

    Jordan,

    This was beautiful and inspirational! I will continue to keep you and Danielle in my prayers.

  6. Richard says:

    Great story so far man, glad I stopped by and read this.

  7. Beverly says:

    God bless you my brother & sister in Christ, I pray right now in the name of Jesus for your love and faith in whom who will supply all your needs and yes by His stripes Danielle is healed, because we know that He is ordering Her steps and that this sickness if for God to get the Glory and let the world see his miracle healing touch is still alive. I say all these things because 2004 I was at death’s door with a serious illness that should have taken me away, but because it was for His grace and mercy He kept me alive inspite of the doctor report I believed His Word and I am a living miracle. I will continue to keep my beautiful, inspirational couple Jordan and Danielle in my daily prayers, I miss seeing the two of you but I know that God is in Control. Love you guys, sister Beverly Frost

  8. Ne'Cole says:

    I was telling Nick a couple weeks ago that God is the ONLY one who is truly worthy of trust..and thats because he’s never been untrustworthy and Ive found comfort in that in difficult times, ya kno. Anyways Im so encouraged in my faith by witnessing this…We continue to pray for the speedily manifestion of her healing
    Love u guys!

  9. Carmen says:

    Dearest Danielle and Jordon:

    This is not for the website, these are my heartfelt words of love for you both…nothing new, but words I hope will comfort even if they ring familiar.

    As you are both too well aware, there is no hotter crucible for faith than serious illness; nor greater challenge to your relationship with God than the daily struggle of trying to understand His sacred purpose in the midst of such great pain nor seeming distance. But, as you’ve so ably witnessed to all of us,on this site, the challenge is that we’re not called to understand.

    Having the knowledge of scipture and His healing promises, I offer the following as encouragement for those dark days that deplete even the most ardent faithful…

    Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.
    The Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

    So, even when difficult, fight with all you’ve got against darkness that comes to steal, rob and distroy your peace and hope, when you’re tired of being tired.. Welcome the daily light He pours on you; that light will be enough to sustain you…one day at a time.

    Through your pain and discomfort, he will visit as “in the cool of the evening”, meet Him there…daily, He needs to comfort and fellowship with you.

    Know that I love you and join you as a witness of God’s powerful new mercies we see, minute by minute, day by day.

    Con todo amor,
    Titi

  10. Thanks for posting this! Like the stories of David, Peter, Paul and so many others throughout the Bible, your testimony is being used to stregnthen the faith of saints throughout the world. Thanks brah!

    – Reg

  11. Jordan says:

    Thanks everyone for the remarks, keep praying!

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